Not the Blog Post I Planned...
It's been a while since I posted a blog. I was so excited about writing this post that I waited on posting the post I have originally planned on posting last Thursday. An opportunity had presented itself in my life- an open door that pulled at my heartstrings so fervently that I knew I needed to pursue it. I dedicated myself to prepare for this opportunity, spending countless hours to make sure that I crushed all the things that I needed to do to walk through this open door. I knew that I had rocked it- I put it all out on the floor and as I waited to hear about it, I was sure that I would be writing a blog post full of this amazing news.
Then on Wednesday, I received an email that closed the door again. I was devastated- it didn't make sense to me. The feedback I received gave me more questions than answers and I knew that I needed to reach out for more clarification. But in the moment, I was really sad and frustrated, It was as if everything else disappeared and I couldn't see anything else.
When one door closes...
Yet despite this disappointment, the world moves on. I woke up yesterday morning with classes to see and a live stream to record this evening. As I walked through the fog this morning (real fog- not just my brain fog) and listened to Dave Schmittou's podcast interview with Erin Mengeu- so much about her dealing with her own closed door experience resonated with me.
Was this closed door experience leading to a door that hadn't yet opened for me? Did I need to trust the universe and believe that there was a reason greater than I could understand that this door closed? Rather than focusing on why this door closed, could I focus on other doors around me and opening them?
Trying to bounce back...
I got back from my walk and started writing this post. Writing has always helped me work through things in the past- so I figured why not? I wanted to write and find the lesson from this experience, but that's a work in progress. So I decided to take some time and focus on gratitude- yes, Wednesday was a huge disappointment for me, but it does not define me, and I will not let it define me.
Thursday had a pretty amazing blessing of its own. I got to live stream with Becky Lim and Matt Rhoads to share a passion project that I worked on last year- my chapter in Book 1 on Engagement for #AmpGlobalEdu. This global collaboration will be published this June and I can't wait. If you missed the live stream, we are having a Twitter chat next Monday at 7 PM EST to discuss the contents of this chapter.
With Big Dreams and Plans comes...
In the past couple of years, I have relentlessly pursued my dreams. When an opportunity has presented itself, my go to attitude is if you don't try, the answer will always be no. This has led me to some amazing accomplishments- presenting at national conferences, publishing my first book, forming my LLC, and more. But underneath those accomplishments, there have been plenty of nos. These are the nos that often don't get shared on a social media stream- they hurt and we need to try to take the lessons from them and move on. I will continue to relentlessly pursue my dreams- but right now, I need to take a minute or two to recalibrate- and that's okay. I would rather be a risktaker that needs to recalibrate, than give up and risk being complacent. That is not who I am- or who I want to be.